Director: Gregory Levasseur
Starring: Ashely Hinshaw, Denis O'Hare
My Rating: Didn't like it
(The Descent + As Above/So Below + Egyptian lore) - IQ points = The Pyramid.
Okay, hear me out. This movie has atrocious acting, terrible dialogue, and a shotty plot, but The Pyramid achieves where so many horror movies fail: it has fun with itself. Damn near every death in this movie revels in goofy, bloody B-movie glory. I found myself smiling from ear to ear at a few of the death sequences. Just like my rating implies, this is not a good movie, but it's a bad movie that I definitely enjoyed watching.
But seriously, the dialogue is awkward and painfully elementary. The characters act consistently cavalier even though their friends are being killed off and their lives are on the line. Every now and then a character reacts appropriately, but then in an instant they'll be calm and collected like they didn't just see anyone die.
I truly believe that if this movie ended about 2 minutes earlier, it would be a better movie. Because (spoilers) that scene when the Egyptian jackal demon guy had the main girl tied up was absurd. That beast had been ruthless the whole movie, in fact he had just smashed the cameraman's face in with his foot! So why in the world did he stand there forever and wait to tear out her heart and weigh it? It just doesn't make any sense. He stood there and waited for her to get loose. And then after she did get loose, he had plenty of time to grab her or whatever, but didn't do anything. Therefore, if it ended right when the girl gets dragged back down, you won't get that stupid scene, making the movie overall better, in my opinion.
If you like horror, especially B-movie horror, there are some things to be admired about The Pyramid, unfortunately it has the mind of a 10 year old. But some may say that adds to its B-movie charm.